If you were here beside me Instead of in New York
by Swanthief05
Summary: Neal was afraid of the answer, but at the same time he needed to know the truth. Rated M for adult contain. (Kind of spoilish)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:** **There's distance and there's silence**

Neal turned the postcard over and over in hand as he focused the glass of whiskey in front of him. He reached for his tumbler, downing the last of his whiskey without a shudder, almost choking from the lump in his throat. What was thinking agreeing to meet her in some dark dingy late night bar? However he owed it to her, after the way he had left her to do the time for him and she had practically chased him half way across New York this morning.

Emma appeared at the corner of the bar. She was still wearing the long back coat and orange scarf from this morning. Her long blonde curls flowed down her back. The same blue-green eyes he had dreamt about for years shone brightly. He could scarcely breathe as their eyes locked across the room. She was still as beautiful as the first time he had met her. She slowly made her way through the crowded bar and joined him at the table.

From there the rest of the night was a blur. They both had knocked back drink after drink, slamming the glasses down on the counter. Everything happened so fast, one minute they were in the bar the next was a mad dash across town to get to his apartment.

Neal could feel his heartbeat pounding against his chest. He was surprised she couldn't hear it. His fingers nervous fumbled with the buttons on her top.

"Need any help?" Emma whispered against his ear. Neal had been struggling to undo her blouse for over a minute.

Neal huskily laughed, "Maybe."

Emma smiled before simply pulling her top over her head, revealing her red lace bra. Neal raised his eyebrow in surprise. There was something different about her. She was no longer the bashful girl who had lost her virginity to him on the back seat of their car 11 years ago. He started to wonder if maybe she had somehow planned how the evening would end.

His eyes gazed over her silky soft pale skin. Neal gently ran his fingertips along the curve of her back. He could see goosebumps appear under his touch.

His fingers slowly made their way up her spine until they reached the back of her bra.

"I don't need any help with this." He cheekily whispered. He hand slip beneath the strap and unhooked her bra letting it fall to the floor.

Emma reached down and took his other hand and placed it on her breast. Neal could see her shiver beneath his touch. This was the permission he had waited for. He gently pushed her back against the door.

His warm breath fell over her hardened nipples before he firmly cupped his hands beneath her breasts.

He lowered his head and teasingly placed his mouth onto her chest. Emma's back arched as a small moan escaped her lips. Unconsciously her hand moved to the back of his head pulling him closer to her breast.

He suckled her softly at first then increased the pressure when he heard her moans.

Emma wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his head back up to her. Her lips found his. Their past kisses had always been soft and gentle. However this kiss was rough and full of passion. Emma found herself moaning into his mouth and his thumb continued teasing her nipple. The sound of her moan sent a rush of heat through Neal. He felt slightly smug that he remembered just how to torment his former lover.

Her lips moved to his neck gently biting his warm rough skin. Neal let a small groan escape his lips. She had never been so coarse in the past.

Her fingers crept under his shirt pulling it up over his head before moving to undo his belt buckle.

Neal's hands moved their way to the back of her skirt and lowered the zipper letting it fall to the floor. He now desperately wanted to remove the last of their clothes that was separating their bare skin from each other.

Next he removed her black tights, pulling them slowly down her legs before throwing them across the room.

He gave her that annoying mischievous grin when he noticed she her underwear matched the discarded bra.

Emma moved her hands over his bare firm chest. Neal closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of her soft touch on his skin. His eyes shot open in surprise when he felt her tongue flick his nipple before she playfully nipped it.

Neal grabbed her head pulling her in for another hot rough kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair. Their warm bodies pressed against each other. He could feel her hips grinding into him.

Wrapping his strong arms around her tightly he gently swept Emma up in his arms carrying her over to his bed. He softly laid her down onto the mattress.

He could feel her fingers digging into his shoulders as she pulled him down onto the bed. Neal leant down and kissed her again. They both became utterly lost in the hot passionate kiss. They rolled all over the bed and each other.

Neal buried his face in her neck while her fingers ran through his messy hair. Neal's lips began their onslaught on her neck before slowly descending down her body. Emma's heart began to race in anticipation of what was to come.

Neal's hand moved to her underwear and gradually pulled it down her legs, removing the last piece of clothing between them. He smirked again when he hear a tortured moan escape her lips.

He watched her body shudder under his gaze. He teasingly placed a kiss on the inside of her thigh before snaking his way back up her body.

Neal was now covering her with his solid weight. Emma moved her legs so he could settle between them. There was no time to think, only time to feel each other.

He tried to focus on the rhythm of their rocking hips. He had dreamt about this over and over since he left her. He closed his eyes as the memories of her straddling his lap in the passenger seat of the yellow bug came into his head. He could still see her hips rise and fell over him and the way the street lamps shone on her skin.

He cannot help but groan when he felt her tightening around him. He could tell she was getting close. Neal gently rolled them over so that she was on top. He took hold of hips and guided her back down onto him. He watched amazed as she moved fast and hard above him desperately seeking release.

Neal allowed himself to get lost in the heat of her movement. He watched as her eyes squeezed shut as she cried out. Her climax soared through her triggering his own. He clutched onto her tightly as a loud groan escaped his lips.

Emma's satisfied soaked body collapsed on top of him. Her head rested on his firm chest.

There was no sound except their heavy breathing. They stayed that way until their breathing slowed. Neal reached over and pulled a blanket over them. No words were spoken. They laid in silence until exhaustion overcame them.

* * *

The morning light shone through the window. Neal's eyes slowly began to open. His head was pounding from the amount of alcohol he had knocked back last night. He was just about to close his eyes again when he was hit with the flashbacks of the evening. "Emma," He breathed.

He jolted up from the empty bed. His eyes searched the room for her. Emma's clothes were still scattered around the room. Neal felt a sense of relief that she had not escaped the apartment while he had been asleep.

He jumped a little when he heard Emma's muffled voice coming from the bathroom. _She must have been on her phone_, He thought to himself.

He climbed out of the bed and made his way over to the closed-door. Neal knew he should not eavesdrop but he had to know who she was talking too.

"I shouldn't be much long I promise." Her voice was soft and warm almost maternal.

"I know … I know… ok I'll see you soon…. I love you too Henry."

Neal's breath caught in his throat. _I love you too Henry… Henry_…Even after all these years he felt betrayed that she could love another man. She had become a stranger to him. The Emma he knew would never just jump into bed with him if she was with someone else. _Was this revenge?_ _To make him feel like he had a chance to put things right than dash his hopes._

Hearing the conversation end Neal quickly made his way back over to the bed.

Emma slowly opened the bathroom door. She was wearing one of Neal's t-shirts and had her phone in her hand.

A small awkward smile crept onto lips as she looked over at him.

"Who's Henry?" He asked. He hadn't meant to just blurt it out. But he was not going to let Emma make a fool out of him.

Emma's smiled dropped and she looked at him shocked. She could sense the jealously in his voice. If it wasn't such a serious matter she would have laughed.

Emma was silent for a moment, she wasn't sure whether to be honest with him or not.

She took a deep breath, "My son." She whispered.

"Son?" Neal asked in shock.

The only answer Emma gave was a nod.

"How…When… I mean how old is he…" Neal stuttered he was in complete shock. He had not expected that.

"He's eleven," Emma quietly answered as she quickly began picking up her clothes.

"Eleven?" He asked confused._ How could Emma have an eleven year old son? It did not make sense. _

Emma did not answer his question and hurriedly began putting her clothes back on.

All of sudden everything began to fall into place in Neal's head. He felt paralyzed. Emma could see Neal's eyes widen as the realisation hit him.

She made her way to the door in attempt to escape before he had chance to stop her.

"Am I the father?" Neal asked. He already knew the answer but he needed to hear her say it

Emma could feel the tears in her eyes. "Yes," her voice was barely a whisper. Before Neal could say anything else she made her way out of the apartment closing the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews really appreciate it**

**Meresger: Thank you for your review and good shout on the scarf... The colour red makes more sense lol. **

**Hope you enjoy the new instalment…. Reviews and feedback are always welcome,**

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**Your words have never left me**

Emma made her way through the busy New York streets. Yesterday's clothes stuck to her body like glue. Her skin still felt clammy from their shared sweat which lingered on her body. She needed to get back to Henry even though she wasn't sure if she could face her son yet. Not when her head was in such disarray. Telling Neal about Henry was not part of her plan.

She had gone to the bar to get closure but instead she had created a whole new problem. _Why couldn't she just lie to him? How was she going to explain this to Henry? _

Emma's feet moved at furious pace through the crowded streets. Her decision had been made. She was going to go back to hotel get Henry and go home.

Running away from trouble was something Emma knew how to do well. She had done it all her life. Once something got too difficult or too messy she would move onto the next place.

She was angry at herself for letting her guard down. He always had a way to get into her head even after all these years. Emma felt stupid that she had let herself fall for his charm and small talk again. She had given into her ridiculous teenage fantasy and enjoyed it. But now her walls were again firmly in place. This was the cold harsh reality; there were no fairy tales or happy endings in her world.

For years Emma dealt with the heartache of losing him in a stream of men and alcohol. Her nights were full of mindless music and emotionless sex with strangers. She wondered if this was how Graham had felt. Had he too lost himself in a string of intoxicated one night stands to escape the pain of the problems that hid beneath the surface?

Maybe Neal had not been the problem. Maybe it was what he represented. He was a reminder of what could have been. He was another chance for happiness that fate had cruelly snatched away from her. Neal was the only man she had truly loved. However her destiny to be the saviour came before love.

Now there was nowhere left to run. She had reached a dead-end. Emma sniffed back her tears before entering the hotel.

"What happened? Did he turn up? Is he coming back with us?" Henry bombarded Emma with questions the moment she walked into the hotel room. His eyes were lit up with excitement as he bounced up and down on the bed.

"Whoa, slow down Kid." Emma replied.

"You were gone all night something must have happened?" Henry asked suspiciously. He could sense his mother was avoiding the answers to his questions.

"He's not coming with us." Emma whispered the sorrow in her voice clearly visible. Luckily Henry did not pick up on it.

Henry's face dropped. "Gold won't happy." He warned.

"I can't force him to come back with us," Emma snapped. She hadn't meant too. Whatever she was feeling, it was not fair to take it out on her son. "Sorry… "She said wrapping her arms round him. She held Henry tightly to her body.

"I'm going to have a quick shower then we're going home."

"But…." Henry started to protest.

"No buts Kid, pack your stuff," Emma replied before she disappeared into the bathroom.

Henry slumped back down onto the bed. He knew his mother was hiding something from him and he was determined to find out.

Emma reached into the shower and turned the water on full blast. She turned the dial to the hottest setting.

She stripped off last night's clothes leaving them in a heap on the floor. Each layer of clothing she removed felt like she was peeling of every trace associated with her actions last night.

The steam rose off from the hot water. She stood naked before the shower, only wearing her Swan necklace. She wrapped her hand around it. The charm was a keepsake of a memory that had begun to fade long ago. A part of her did not want to take it off. It felt like she was removing the last trace of him.

_"I got you a keychain… Do you like it?" _His voice echoed in her mind.

She unclipped the back of the chain and removed it from her neck. She lifted the Swan charm to her lips and placed a delicate kiss on it before placing it down on the shelf.

Emma stepped into the shower and under the harsh spray of the water.

She let the water wash away the scent of him from her skin. She could still feel his rough hands on her. Caressing and teasing her skin**.**

Emma stood with her hands firmly pressed against the cold titles of the shower wall. She needed to feel something stable, she need something to support her. Emma's body felt exhausted.

She stood under the shower and let the water scorch her skin. The heat of the water was painful and burn. But she needed to feel the pain as much as she needed to wash away the guilt and regret. Emma hadn't meant for last night to go as far as it did.

She closed her eyes. Memories of nights spent with nameless men trying to forget Neal's face flashed into head.

_With her back up against the alleyway wall outside a bar, Emma arched forward against him. Her apartment was only a few blocks away but she had no wish to make it that far or have to deal with him in the morning. _

_Her hands pulled open his shirt and moaned into his mouth. She needed this._

_His hand gently brushed her cheek and tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear. _

_Neal's hands_

_No! He was being far too gentle. She dug her fingers into his hair and kissed him roughly. She wanted to forget the man who still held her heart. _

_Forget Neal. This is what you want!_

_Emma wrapped her legs around his hips. His fingers dug into her hips. There will be bruises on her legs tomorrow. His mouth began biting her neck leaving dark red marks on her skin._

_It was never like this with Neal, He was soft and gentle. Neal, the father of her baby… baby_

_She squeezed her eyes shut. Why did her mind keep doing this? Why couldn't she just forget him? She wanted to lose herself in the moment. She locked her ankles behind his back. Her back hit the wall again and again._

_Tallahassee baby… Almost Home…_

_She closed her eyes and threw her head back as a loud gasp left her lips. _

Emma scrubbed her face and hair. Her eyes were still closed as tears began to fall. However they left no mark on her cheeks as the hot water washed them away.

Emma was now dressed in her normal comfortable jeans and black vest top. Her face now scrubbed clean of makeup and tears. Her long dishevelled hair hung down her back still dripping wet.

She numbly made her way back into the hotel bedroom.

Henry was sat on top of his suitcase, his head in hands. It was obvious he had sulked.

"All ready to go Kid?" Emma asked as she stuffed her dirty clothes into a bag.

"Yup!"

_Great one word answers! The trip back to Storybrooke was going to be fun. _Emma thought to herself

"Ok then, let's get going. "She replied.

Emma grabbed the bags as they made their way out of the room.

* * *

Neal made his way down the hall, looking for the right hotel room.

For a moment he had believed last night was nothing more than dream. But it was real. His world had been turned upside down in the space of a day. Neal wasn't sure how felt. They had a son.

Neal could feel the nausea rising in his stomach as he approached the last door in the hall.

The door was slightly open. He smiled _Twenty minutes to room service. _

He knocked first but there was no answer. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. The room was empty

"Emma?" Neal called out.

His eyes scanned the room. The only thing that remained was her red scarf which had been left behind on the bed.

He lifted the scarf to his face. The scent of her still lingered on the wool. Her perfume always drove him crazy. He slumped down on the end of the bed and put his head in his hands.

She was gone. Had he missed his chance again?


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, Sorry for the huge delay in updating... its been crazy over the last few weeks.**

**I have no idea where I'm going with it but I hope you stick around to find out. Feedback is always appreciated :) **

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**There's so much this hurt can teach us both**

Neal had not thought of himself as a romantic person. His relationships over the last 11 years had been short and empty. He couldn't even remember the names of some of his past acquaintances. They were just faceless strangers he had used to fill the void in his heart that was once filled by Emma.

Neal now sat in his apartment surrounded by darkness. He was only sentimental when it came to her. He still had the dream catcher they had found in the motel room. It proudly hung above his window as reminder of when he last felt truly happy. He held her red scarf in his hands as his fingers ran along the soft fabric. He brought the scarf up to his face and breathed in her scent which still lingered on the wool. He smiled to himself; her scent always reminded him of cinnamon.

Neal closed his eyes as he tried to remembered the previous evening. He could still feel her hands holding his waist tightly as she lifted herself on top of him. The way her blonde hair covered her face as her body rose and fall above him. The beads of sweat and lust on her face as she left her body's need for release take over.

He could still picture how soft and smooth her skin looked in the moonlight. He remembered how cool and silky it felt beneath his rough fingertips. It was complete contrast to his own body. It had surprised him how after all this time their bodies still knew how to move as one.

Neal groaned to himself. He kept trying to convince himself that he only went to the bar last night to apologise to her, nothing else. But from the moment he locked eyes with her he knew he was still in love with her.

He felt it again this morning when he saw a glimpse of what could have been if he had stayed all those years ago. He had blown his chance to put things right. Emma had walked away. She would return home with their son and he would stay here with nothing but the emptiness of what was now his life.

* * *

Emma squeezed her eyes tightly shut as her hand gripped firmly around the glass in her hand. She sat in the kitchen surrounded by darkness. The only sound that could be heard was her cold breath.

It had been a long journey home, Henry was still mad at her for not telling him what happened with the mystery man. Her son was not stupid he knew something wasn't right and she hated herself for lying to him. She also had a strange feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She felt as if she had betrayed Neal by giving Gold his address. But she was still angry at him and she wanted to punish him. If she was honest, she was angry at herself.

She looked down at the glass in her hand. She had hoped it would have distracted from the knowledge of what has taken place over the last few days. Emma sighed as she raised her glass to her lips. She quickly knocked back the warm whiskey as if it was water. Her body trembled a little as the liquid burnt its way down her throat.

In her time of need Emma could always find comfort in a glass of whiskey. It had always been there for her over the years but tonight it wasn't working. It did not matter how many glasses she knocked back it wasn't enough to block him out of her mind. She slammed the glass back down on the table.

Sighing deeply Emma let go of the glass and brought her hands up to her face. She buried her face in her hands and closed her eyes again to stop her tears from falling. No matter what she did to distract herself her thoughts and memories of him would not leave her alone. The secret which she had kept from him for so long was now finally out and she was terrified of what could follow.

"Emma?" A quiet soft voice called out to her in the darkness.

Emma jumped slightly and turned towards the familiar voice. Her sad eyes locked with her mother's. They stared at each other for moment before Emma's eyes fell to the floor as her fringe covered her face. She could not stand the way her mother was looking at her, with concern and love in her eyes. She did not deserve it.

Instead of answering Snow, Emma remained silent waiting for what she knew would come next. She listened quietly has her mother walked slowly into the kitchen, but Emma refused to look back up at her. She could feel her mother's eyes boring into the back of her head as she came closer.

Emma quickly raised the glass back up to her lips taking another sip of her drink. She could see Snow from the corner of her eye as she took a seat next to her at the table.

"It's late." Snow whispered reaching her hand out towards Emma.

"Yeah." Emma mumbled as she let her mother take her hand in hers. She could hear Snow's sigh sadly.

"What are you doing Emma?" Snow asked as she desperately tried to get her daughter to look at her.

Emma turned her head round to face Snow. "I'm drinking." She replied sarcastically. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh but right now all she wanted was to be left alone.

Snow raised her eyebrow. "I can see that." She replied. "Emma... What happened in New York?"

Emma felt her heart plummet to her stomach as tears started to brim her eyes again. She knew this was coming and she was surprised it had taken Snow this long to ask her.

"Nothing." Emma whispered as she quickly turned her face away. A part of her wanted to tell her mother the truth, to let her guard down but she couldn't, it hurt too much.

"Emma please?" Snow pleaded as she touched her daughter's cheek.

Emma immediately leapt up from her chair causing her mother to jump in surprise. Her body froze when she felt Snow's strong grip on her arm.

"Emma! Where are you going?" Snow's voice was full of worry.

"I just need some air." She replied pulling her arm free from Snow. She can see the hurt and confusion in her mother's eyes but it didn't stop her.

She quickly made her way to the front door, grabbing her jacket on the way. Pausing for a moment Emma turned back towards Snow. Both their eyes were shining with tears.

"I'm sorry." Emma whispered. Her voice was bleak and emotionless.

Snow watched as her daughter left the apartment. She had no idea what was going on but she was not going to stop until she found out.

* * *

Meanwhile Mr Gold made his way down the hall. His hand trembling as he held the crumpled paper up to his face. He checked to make sure he had the right apartment number. He was just about to knock the door when he noticed it was slightly open. Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door.

"Bae?" He called out into the darkness.

The apartment was empty. All that was left was a few pieces of paper scattered across the desk by the empty window and the odd shirt hanging on the rail. Gold angrily crushed the paper in his hand and threw it to the floor. His son was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to for all your reviews, they always make me smile. ****I love hearing what you all think and I appreciate all your opinions.**

**I know there has been long breaks between updates but I plan to update more regularly now... so I hope you continue following... One more week to the SwanThief Reunion! **

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**If our hearts are never broken**

The cold air hit Emma full on in the face as she made her way out onto the street. Her eyes were still stinging with tears which blurred her vision. She lifted her hand to her face wiping away the tears that rolled silently down her cheeks. _What use was it to cry now? The damage was already done. _

Emma could still see the look of sympathy in her mother's eyes and she felt guilty that she just walked without an explanation but she did not want Snow's pity. She had kept the secret of Henry's father for so long. She thought she had buried her memories of Neal long ago and there were times she had almost forgotten him. But they never really disappeared. _What would her family think of her if they knew the truth and worse if they ever found out who Neal really was?_ She had to protect them, she had to protect Henry.

Her body shuddered a little in the cold wind as she continued to make her way slowly down the road. Emma had no idea where she was going but she had to get as far away from the apartment as possible.

The town was dark and quiet, the residents of Storybrooke where sleeping peacefully. The only sound that could be heard was her footsteps as she walked further into the town.

Emma wrapped her arms around her body trying to keep herself warm. The tears continued to roll down her cheeks. She was falling apart and was struggling to find that strength to pull herself together. Her walls had crumbled and there was now a new vulnerability that she had never felt before.

Suddenly she could hear quiet footsteps approaching from behind her. Quickly Emma wiped her eyes before turning to see the person approaching, she was half expecting to see her mother, she was never one to let things go. However her eyes locked with a pair of dark brown eyes. Emma could feel her heart raced as she shook her head in shock.

"Neal…" Emma breathed out her voice barely a whisper.

Neal did not respond to his name instead he just stared at her. He stood still with his hands inside his pockets. There was a slight sadness and confusion on his face and he continued to hold her gaze.

Emma looked away as she self-consciously wiped her tears away, her breath shallow. She turned her head towards him again only to see that he has not moved from his position. Her heart was pounding in her chest from the shock of seeing him here, in Storybrooke. Her eyes fearfully looked over his face. "Neal?" Her voice hushed.

This time the sound of her voice broke him out of his gaze. Bravely Neal took a step towards her. He reached out and brushed his hands down her arms. His movement was so quick and unexpected Emma hardly had time to react. However he still felt her flinch beneath his hands.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she chewed her bottom lip nervously.

"I came here for you." He whispered.

Emma's eyes widen before she shook her head. She opened her mouth to answer however her throat became dry. She was unable to get the words out. _What was there to say? _Emma turned her head away; she could not look at him. She focused her eyes firmly on the ground.

Neal's eyes looked over her, memorizing everything. The way her golden hair covered her face shielding her tear filled eyes from him. The way her arms wrapped around her protectively. He could see she was trying to hold it together.

"Emma?" He whispered again. It was strange to think only a few days ago they were still lost to each other.

He could not help but smile at the sight of her, the way her long blond hair fell gracefully down her back as she remained looking away from him. Even now she still looked beautiful.

Very slowly she turned to face him, her breathing was short and sharp. Her eyes had dried but the evidence of her tears were still clear to see. She was terrified to meet his eyes.

"Em… babe…" His voice was soft. He reached out and placed his rough hand on her tear-stained cheek.

Emma did not move, instead she closed her eyes tightly allowing herself to enjoy his touch on her cheek. She was struggling to stop the fresh tears from falling as she tried to hold it together a little longer.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open. For a moment she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of his warm skin against hers. But this could not happen again. She needed to stop it before any more hurt was caused. She roughly pushed his hand away from her.

"Whats wrong?" He asked his voice full of concerned. She could hear his words were also lined with tears. But he refused to back away. Gently he moved his hand and brushed away a golden curl from her face. Emma could feel her body shudder pleasurably under his touch.

Neal moved closer to her. He reached up to take her face in both hands, cradling her gently, as her tears rolled down her cheeks. Gently he wiped one away with his thumb, his eyes looked over her cheeks blankly for a moment, before gazing back into her eyes. Emma's eyes shone with tears and somehow looked darker than he's ever seen them before.

"Why did you leave?" He whispered, his voice was almost cracking. In one night she had changed his world completely then just left without a second thought.

"I… I…." Emma stuttered, her throat closing up again. She could not believe he had followed her here. He had come back for her. _No! _Her brain screamed at her. With all the strength she had left she pushed his hands away from her face. The reality of the situation was now hitting her in full force. "You shouldn't have come here Neal." She replied moving away from him.

"Emma I…" Neal was struggling to find the right words. How could she think he would not come after her, he made a mistake 11 years ago, he wasn't going to do it again.

Emma slowly began backing away from him, looking for her chance to escape. Then she did was she always did when things got too complicated, she ran. She stumbled over her own feet as she ran as far away from him as she could. The tears trickled pathetically down her face.

Neal froze for a moment watching her as she fled. He was slow to react as normal; however it only took a matter of seconds before he started to chase after her. He would have laughed if the situation was not so serious. Only a few days ago she was chasing him through New York, now he was chasing her through the streets of Storybrooke.

"Emma!" He called after her which only caused her to run faster. He did not know why he had this feeling to chase after her. Maybe it was the love he still had for her or the answers he most desperately needed. Whatever the reason he was not turning away now.

It surprised him how quickly she was gaining ground, yet she managed to catch him. Though his mistake of running down a dead-end ally way may have helped her. However she might have been fast but he was faster, all those years of running away from angry shop keepers and cops had stayed with him. He was determined not to let her get away this time.

As he caught up with her he reached out and roughly grabbed hold of her arm. Holding her arm tightly he spun her around towards him. Both their breathing was short and fast.

Her blond hair whipped behind her and the shock of his grasp raced through her body as he forced her to look at him. Neal held onto her body tightly so she was unable to struggle free. Emma could feel herself crumbling under his gaze. His eyes were now dark and looked directly at hers.

"Let me go" she cried out as she unsuccessfully tried to break free from his grip. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as his eyes stared at her. Emma knew he wanted answers, he wanted to know about their son, but what answers could she possibly give. Neither of them could change what had happened.

She had finally started to sort her life out and now this. She knew it would only cause further heartache for both of them and more importantly Henry.

Time was never on their side. But time and time again she found herself being drawn back to him. Only this time she could not let him back into her life. She had to stop it at all costs. She had to protect her son from the truth about his father.

Suddenly Neal pulled her towards him until she collided with his chest. She could feel his heart pounding hard through his shirt. The heat of his body made her tingle with unwanted desire for him. Emma tried again to pull away from him but his hold on her only grows stronger, holding her closer to him.

One of his hands moved to the side of her face lifting it towards him. For a moment she felt herself flinch under his palm. However he did not pull away. Instead he simply moved her hair back away from her face. His fingers brushed softly along her cheekbone.

She watched as a small but charming smile appeared on his face. "Why do we do that?" He asked still holding her close. "Why do we always run from each other?" He smirked.

Emma blinked at him, she was unsure whether he expected her to answer or not. She could feel his hot breath on her skin as he leaned closer.

"The same reason, you always leave me when I need you." She sarcastically replied causing him to smirk even more.

"Do you still need me Emma?" He asked his voice growing thick.

Emma opened her mouth to speak, however she was unsure of the answer. Her head screamed no but her heart screamed yes. She knew she should pull away from him, but her earlier struggles now seemed to be forgotten. Tears began to fill her eyes again.

"Please Emma?" He whispered leaning in even closer. "Do you still need me?" He asked again.

"Neal," her voice strangled with tears. Her common sense was still battling with her desire for him. His touch and voice drove her senses wild, making it almost impossible to think clearly.

"I…" She stuttered again. She wished that he would drop it, that he would just let her go and go back to New York. She could feel the guilt of her lies growing in the pit of her stomach. But no matter how guilty she felt and how selfish it would be, she still wanted him.

Neal reached up again and ran his hand through her hair. "I know I still need you babe…" He whispered into her ear, she could hear the desperation and need in his voice, it caused a shiver to race down her spine.

Finally giving in Emma allowed herself to melt into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck bring her lips to his. Closing her eyes she felt his lips crash against hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the review guys :) Second update this week and I've nearly finished the next one too... Can't wait for Sunday**

**Anyway this chapter contains adult themes... Enjoy!**

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**Well there's no joy in the mending**

Neal's hand shook as he began to unlock the door to his hotel room. He could not help but think that they were back to where they started a few days ago. He pushed open the door and indicated for Emma to go into the room first. Neal took a deep breath before following her inside. He could feel the adrenaline and anticipation rushing through his body.

Once inside he placed his keys down on the side and began to shrug off his jacket. But before he had chance to fully take his jacket off Emma lunged at him, her lips crashed against his once again.

Neal was slightly taken back by her forwardness. "Emma…" He managed to mumble out through their kisses as his jacket fell to the floor.

"What?" Emma asked, her breath already sounded heavy. "Isn't this the reason we came back to your room? What you wanted?" She playfully raised her eyebrow at him.

Neal smiled, he could see a little of the cheeky young Emma he remembered. "Yes but… I thought you might want to talk first about…."

"No! I don't want to talk." Emma quickly interrupted. She was tired of talking; of over thinking everything, she just wanted to act on her impulses which were screaming at her to kiss him again.

Before their lips met again Neal whispered softly. "Are you sure about this?" His brown eyes searched her green ones. He wanted to make sure this was what they both wanted.

"Yes." Emma replied her voice barely a whisper. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she pressed her lips against his. All she could think about now was how much she needed this, to completely lose herself with him.

Neal was hesitated for a moment before he kissed her back. Emma closed her eyes as the kiss grew deeper. She took in the scent of his cheap aftershave and whiskey. _He must have needed some Dutch courage before looking for her,_ she thought to herself.

Feeling more confident now Neal began to slide his hands up and down Emma's back pulling her closer to him. His hand moved under her top as he traced the line of her back with his fingers. He could feel her shudder under his touch.

Breaking away from the kiss Emma leaned back slightly. Her hands reached down to the bottom of his shirt. She gently pulled his shirt up over his head throwing it across the room. Her own top followed it shortly.

Leaning forward Emma started tracing a line of soft kisses down the curve of Neal's neck. She could not help but smile slightly when she heard the small noises he began to make.

Neal moved his hands to her back again softly sweeping her long blonde hair out-of-the-way. He unhooked her bra discarding it somewhere on the floor. He ran one hand up along her ribs until it found her breast. This time he did not wait for permission, he teasingly brushed his thumb across her nipple. Emma moaned into his shoulder as the sensations of his hands on her raced through her body.

Neal began to place soft kisses along her collarbone breathing in her perfume which lingered on her skin.

Emma ran her hands down over his firm chest until they reached his belt buckle. She playful toyed with it for a moment or two before pulling it loose. She pulled his jeans and boxers down over his hips letting them fall to the floor.

Neal clumsily stepped out of them before kicking them out the way. He watched memorised as Emma removed her jeans and underwear in one motion and threw them to the heap on the floor.

Neal could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to catch his breath. He looked at Emma standing naked before him. Her hair fell loose down her back and her make up was smudged under eyes, but spite of her imperfections she still took his breath away.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered.

Emma smiled shyly she couldn't remember the last time she allowed herself to be so vulnerable and open with someone. It was strange that even after all these years apart she could still be like this with him. Being here in this moment with Neal again made her forget all those years of running from the pain.

She reached out and took his hand in hers their fingers laced together. Neal pulled her close to him again kissing her gently. He slowly started to move them backwards towards the bed. Unlike the night in New York there was no need to rush, no urgently, it felt like they had all the time in the world. Neal gently lowered them down onto the bed, they bodies sunk into the mattress.

All of sudden he felt Emma's body freeze in his arms. He lifted his body up and rested on his elbows. He could see a single tear slowly running down her cheek. Softly with his thumb he brushed the tear away. "Babe… are you ok? He asked.

Emma nodded slowly and placed a small kiss on his thumb. He understood how she felt, being here together like this was overwhelming for both of them. They stayed still for a while just staring into each other eyes. Both lost in their memories of the past and how their dreams of a future together was cruelly snatched away from them.

As the memories started to fade Emma began to move slightly further up the bed so her head could rest on the pillow. Neal could see a shy smile appear on her lips. He lifted himself up so he could lean over her. He gently placed kisses on the soft skin between her breasts. Emma shivered beneath him. Goosebumps started to appear all over her skin. She reached up with her hand and brushed her fingers through his dark hair.

Neal slowly began kissing down her ribs and over her flat stomach. He stopped for a moment as he reached her belly. He gently brushed his hand over her skin. It was still hard for him to imagine that her firm belly was once swollen with their baby. He had been so caught up in finding her that he had almost forgotten that they shared a child together. He felt Emma tense up again beneath him, she was fully aware of what he is thinking about. Holding back his own emotions he simply placed a kiss on her stomach before looking back up at her.

He cheekily grinned at her before lightly kissing the crease between her hip and thigh. His hand slowly made its way up the inside of her thigh and slipped between her legs. Neal could not help but smile again smugly when he felt Emma tremble as he teasingly stroked her gently.

A low moan escaped Emma's lips as her hands grabbed a handful of the bed sheets. "Neal…Please…" She breathed out.

Neal chuckled lightly, Emma was always so impatient. He made his way back up her body until he found her eyes again. Gently he settled the length of his body down on top of hers enjoying the way she felt beneath him.

"Are you sure?" He asked again softly, even though he did not think he could stop now.

Emma placed her head against his face and brushed her thumb across his cheek. She nodded.

Neal kissed her again as he slipped inside. A soft moan escaped both their lips at the sensation of Neal being inside her at last. Emma took his hand hers and held it tight as he started to move.

Neal closed his eyes as he listened to Emma's soft moans. He was desperately trying to keep up a steady rhythm but the sound of her heavy breathing and the way her hips moved in time with his, drove him crazy. The intensity of the moment was so overwhelming for both of them.

Neal could scarcely control himself any longer and began to speed up. His hips drove harder and faster. He could now feel Emma's arms wrapped around his back holding onto him tightly. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she reached her climax, a soft cry escaped her lips.

Neal held onto her heaving body as he continued to thrust into her. He groaned loudly finally reaching his own climax. His body collapsed against her as he buried his face into her neck, breathing heavily. They both stayed that way for a moment. Their sweaty bodies tangled up in each other.

Neal gently rolled onto his back. He wrapped his arm around Emma pulling her close to him. He could still feel her body shaking against his. Emma rested her head on top of his chest.

He soon realised she was quietly crying when he felt her tears run onto his chest. Maybe this was not the start of something new, that Neal had hoped for, they were still broken. His mind raced with things to say to her but he could not find the words. Instead they laid together in silence until they gave into their exhaustion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again for the reviews... here is the next chapter... I'm on a roll at the moment lol**

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**Of the arms you said you'd never leave**

Emma's eyes began to slowly flicker opened. Her head felt dizzy as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings. The bed sheets were cold against her bare skin and the room shone a low grey of light as dawn was approaching. She led still for moment trying to piece together how she got here. Slowly she rolled onto her side. Her eyes opened wide when she saw Neal's bare back.

_Oh God! _Instantly her mind starting regretting her actions last night. Her head was thumping for the after effects of the whiskey. She sat up gently so not to disturb the Neal sleeping next to her.

Wrapping the sheets tighter around her naked body Emma sat there for a moment. Slowly piece by piece the memories of last night came flooding back, his hands on her skin, the taste of his lips on hers and the way their bodies moved together. Emma groaned to herself. She drew her knees up to her chest and lowered her head onto of them. _What had she done?_ She now wished she had not woken up.

She stayed that way for several moments. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest. She watched Neal as he slept. _How the hell had she let this happen again?_ Alone tear began to roll down her cheek.

Carefully she began to climb out of the bed. Her eyes searched the dim-lit room searching for her clothes. She found her discarded bra and underwear on the floor. Quickly she put them back on before searching for the rest of her clothes.

All of sudden the room felt like it was spinning and she could feel her stomach turning. Emma clasped her hand to her mouth when she felt an unpleasant taste in the back of her throat. She raced to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Leaning over the toilet she threw up. Ridding her body of the toxins consumed last night.

It took Emma a few minutes to find her feet, her body still shaking from being sick. She turned to the sink and started running the tap. She splashed the cold water over her face in attempt to freshen up. Reluctantly she looked up into the mirror. She did not recognise her reflection.

Her hair was messy and unkempt. Her eyes red and puffy from the tears she had cried. Emma wrapped her arms around her bare stomach trying to make herself look presentable before returning back to the bedroom. She hoped Neal would still be a sleep so she could leave without begin confronted.

Slowly she opened the bathroom door and made her way back into the other room. Her heart fell a little when she saw the empty bed. _Damn too late!_

Taking a deep breath she continued her hunt for her clothes, but they were still nowhere to be seen. No longer feeling comfortable in just her underwear, she reached into one of Neal's bags pulling out a t-shirt. She pulled the shirt over her head and slipped her arms into the sleeves. She took a moment to enjoy the scent of him and the soft fabric against her skin.

She turned around searching the room for him but he was gone. She sighed when she found her jeans in a heap in the corner of the room. As she bent down to pick them up she heard his voice coming from behind her.

"Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in my t-shirt?"

His voice made her body tingle. She turned to face him. She raised her eyebrow at him, she looked a mess how could he possible think she was at all sexy?

Neal was leaning against the door frame with a cheeky smirk on his face. He had a take out bag from Granny's in his hand. He had obviously sneaked out to get breakfast when she was in the bathroom.

Despite herself, Emma could not help but blush as a small laugh escaped her lips. Nervously she began playing with the bottom of his shirt. "I hope you don't mind... I couldn't find my clothes." She blushed again.

She had no idea why she felt awkward. This was not the first time they had fooled about. Woke up together is some random motel room. But that was a long time ago. They were young, foolish and in love. She wasn't that girl anymore. She refused to meet his eyes so chose to stare at the floor.

Neal stared at her from a moment. His eyes roamed over her body. _She so beautiful._ He could tell she was uncomfortable and he felt a rush of guilt. She had wanted to run away from him last night, but he would not let her go. He wanted her and knew she would not refuse him. This was meant to be the start of something new so why did he feel so bad.

"So um breakfast?" He nervously asked as he made his way back over to the bed. "You still like pancakes... you couldn't get enough of them when we were on the road."

Emma just watched as he started removing takeout boxes from the bag.

"Got your favourite hot chocolate with cinnamon right?" He grinned placing the paper cup down on the table. Emma did not answer.

"Come on babe..." He said holding his hand out to her.

"No!" Emma snapped.

Neal sighed he had a feeling this was coming. She still refused to meet his eyes. "Em... whats wrong?"

Emma all of sudden felt very vulnerable in his just his shirt. "I... last night... it was a mistake..." She whispered. "We shouldn't have... I was not thinking straight..."

"Oh come on Emma!... don't..." Neal replied as he tried to wrap his arms around her. He knew she was scared of being hurt again but things were different now.

"Don't what?" Emma snapped. "Don't do what I should have done last night. It was a mistake and you know that."

Neal shook his head. "No... it's happened twice now... how can it be a mistake?"

"I had a few drinks and..." Emma replied as she pulled on her jeans

Neal laughed, "I think you can come up with a better excuse than that... Why can't you admit it... there is a reason we keep coming back to each other..."

"Yeah we suck at meeting new people.."

Neal laughed, "Emma, please stay with me.

Emma shook her head "I have to go..." Quickly she made her way to the door. Not bothering to change out of his shirt into hers,

Neal jumped to his feet and race to the door. He caught hold of her wrist before she could grab the handle.

"Babe…" He whispered gently, his voice pleading. His eyes looked over her face again. _Even when she was a pain in ass she was still beautiful_ he thought to at the same time he could not help but feel frustrated at her, even more so when she again refused to look at him. It broke his heart to see her so desperate to get away from him. _What had he done? Last night was almost perfect?_

"Don't go please Emma…" He pleaded holding onto her wrist tightly.

Emma remained frozen. The feeling of Neal's warm breath on her skin caused a tingling sensation through her body. "You know I have too…" She whispered, her voice cracking a little. She watched as a confused frown began to appear on his face.

"Why?" He snapped in frustration holding her wrist tighter.

Emma flinched. "You know why?" She replied raising her voice slightly. Neal shook his head.

"You and me, when has that ever worked? We will just end up hurting each other and I can't go through that again… I can't and I can't do that too…" Hear voice trailed off a little, she could not bring herself to say their son's name. "We are not good for each other Neal, you know that."

They both stood there is silence. She nervously watched as Neal stared at her, she could see he was thinking of something, but what was left to say? Instead he reached up and cupped her face gently. Much to her surprise she doesn't push him away. _Why was this so hard?_

"You were all I ever wanted and you still are." He softly whispered hoping she would believe every word.

Emma could feel her legs shaking. She wanted to just fall into his arms and forget everything. For years she had waited to hear those words and now he was here saying them, she did not want to hear tit. Emma closed her eyes tightly trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Emma… I still love you... I want to be with you…. we can get through this as long as we are honest with each other…." He continued.

Emma's eyes snapped open. "Honest with each other?" She almost laughed. "When the hell have we ever been honest with each other?"

Neal tried to interrupt but Emma wouldn't let him and continued. "When you called the cops on me? When you skipped town?"

"Emma I told you want really happened." Neal tried to defend himself.

"Or who you really were?" She continued. That hit a nerve with Neal and it caused him to snap.

"Or like how you forget to tell me about our child." Neal yelled over her voice. He instantly regretted it when he saw the look of horror in her eyes.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered but it was too late, Emma pulled her wrist free from his grasp and opened the door.

She raced down the stairs of Granny's B&B ignoring Neal as he called after her. She did not notice Red standing at the bottom of the stairs until she knocked into her.

"Hey Emma, is everything ok?" Red asked seeing that Emma was clearly upset.

Emma did not answer and raced for the door. Neal stumbled down the stairs. Red looked suspiciously at the stranger following Emma.

Neal raced out of the door after her but it was too late, she was already gone from sight. He sighed to himself and ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't ready to give up on her just yet, she just needed time.

Neal turned to make his way back into the B&B when he saw a familiar figure getting out of a car further up the road. His eyes widened in panic "Papa..." He breathed out before ducking out of sight. The past was finally catching up with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey Everyone thank you for the reviews and follows. Sorry for the delay in updating... Here's the next chapter hope you enjoy it. **

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**And the lack of it snaps, me in two**

Emma slowly opened the door to the apartment. It was still early in morning so she hoped everyone was still asleep. She could not face speaking to her family, not until she had removed last night's clothes and showered.

She quietly crept into the apartment slowly closing the door behind her. Emma made her way across the room towards the stairs. She winced when the loose floorboard creaked loudly beneath her foot. She instantly looked over to the curtain separating her parent's bedroom from the front room. She sighed in relief that it had not disturbed them.

Then the sound of her mother clearing her throat echoed around the silent apartment. Emma's whole body froze on the spot. She could feel Snow's eyes staring right at her from the kitchen. _Damn it!_ She had been caught.

Emma turned to see Snow sitting at the kitchen table holding a mug of coffee in her hand. It was obvious her mother had sat there waiting for her to return home. But for how long Emma wasn't sure.

This was the last thing she need right now. All she wanted was a hot shower, rid herself of Neal's scent and to crawl into her own bed. But her mother clearly had other ideas.

Sighing to herself Emma made her way over to the kitchen She was determined to act as normal as possible however the tears were starting to burn in her eyes again.

She turned her back away from Snow and picked up a glass to pour herself a drink of water. She desperately tried blinking away the tears. She could not let Snow see her so upset. It would only add to more questions.

There was silence for a few moments; Emma could feel her mother's eyes boring into her back. _Here we go! _

**"**Emma? Where did you go? You've been gone all night… I was worried about you." Snow said finally breaking the silence**.**

Emma sighed and just shrugged her shoulders as she continued to sip her water. Her back still facing towards Snow.

"Is that it?" Snow asked. "No explanation?". Snow stood up from the table. She was still wearing her pyjamas. She had no slept a wink after Emma left last night. She had tried calling her daughter however only got her voicemail. "Emma, please talk to me."

Emma closed her eyes, she could feel her heart sink at her mother's gentle tone. She wanted to break down and tell her everything, to let her mother take her in her arms. But she couldn't, she didn't know how. She felt Snow's hands rub down her arms gently. "I can't." Emma murmured. She was not ready to talk. It made everything more real if she spoke about it.

Snow could feel tears forming in her eyes; she hated seeing Emma so distressed, but hated it more when she didn't know why. "Emma there is nothing you can't tell me…. Please let me in?" Snow whispered soothingly as she gently stroked Emma's arms.

The tears began to run down Emma's cheeks, she hated herself for rejecting Snow after everything they had been through together. But it was safer if her mother didn't know the truth. Shaking her head Emma pulled away and began to move away from her mother.

Snow however moved in front of her blocking her way to the stairs. _Why can't anyone let me just walk away? _Emma complained to herself.

"Emma I have no idea what is going on with you right now. But we are going to talk about it. Whether you like it or not" Snow's voice was now stern.

Emma could feel her chest start to tighten with pain. Another wave of nausea hit her. "Please I can't do this right now … I just want to have a shower and change my clothes." Emma whined. She sounded so childlike but she was desperate to get away.

Snow looked down at Emma's clothes and noticed something she hadn't seen at before. "Emma who's shirt is that? You weren't wearing that when you left."

Emma bit her lower lip; she could the tears forming in her eyes again. Her hands began to tremble. "Why can't you drop it? I said I don't want to talk about it." She snapped. She hadn't meant too but she just wanted to be alone.

Snow was taken aback by her daughter's outburst. It was so unlike Emma. Snow opened her mouth to speak when Henry came crashing down the stairs.

"What is all the yelling about?" He asked as he looked at them.

Snow kept her eyes fixed on Emma.

"It's nothing Kid." Emma answered lowering her eyes to the floor.

"Why won't you tell me…" Henry whined "I can handle it you know?"

Emma rubbed her forehead in frustration, _why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?_ "Henry it's nothing honestly."

Henry shook his head. "So why won't you tell me about what happen with Gold's son…. And don't say nothing you were gone all night"

Snow's eyes opened wide in surprise, Emma had seemed to have missed that little detail about their trip out.

Emma felt her cheeks go a shade of pink, she just wanted to disappear. **"**Seriously what is it with all the questions? Nothing happened." She huffed as she marched past her son and up the stairs leaving Snow and Henry astonished by her outburst.

Snow turned to her grandson. She knew she shouldn't ask him but she was getting nowhere with Emma. "Henry what happened in New York?"

Henry shrugged his shoulders just like Emma had done earlier. "I don't, know Emma want after Gold's son and did not comeback until the next morning… She's been acting strange ever since."

"Why don't you go and get dress while I wake your grandfather. Then we can go to Granny's for breakfast… and give your mom some space." Snow smiled at Henry.

Emma was now dressed in black comfy pants and an oversized jumper. Her face was now clean of makeup and her wet hair dripped down her back. Even though she had now showered she still felt unclean.

Numbly Emma made her way over to the kitchen. It had surprised her to find the apartment empty. She was just about to open the fridge when a note on the table caught her eye.

_"Gone to Granny's for breakfast if you want to join us? Snow x_

Emma Sighed to herself, she knew she had some making up to do.

The door closed with a click as Emma shut it behind her. She had debated not going to the diner but the silence in the apartment was starting to get to her. It seemed everything reminded her of Neal, she had to get out.

The cold air hit her whole body as her damp hair continued to drip down her neck and back. She began to walk aimlessly towards the diner. She was unsure if she could face her parents and son. Henry would soon find out that she had lied to him about his father. The mere thought of it made her stomach churn.

"Miss Swan!"

Emma's entire body froze at the sound of his voice cutting through her body. She stooped and slowly turned around to see Gold standing behind her.

It was if he had waited for her to make an appearance. She tried to keep her face emotionless as she met his gaze. There was nowhere to run.


End file.
